October 28, 2086 - In a final attempt at cosmic justice, the New York City Council has voted to remove the iconic Statue of Liberty from Liberty Island in what they are calling a "monumental step towards liberation from oppression and capitalism."
Council members, fueled by a newfound enthusiasm for symbolism eradication, argue that the Statue of Liberty, a gift from France in 1886, has long served as a beacon of inequality, an oppressive symbol that has taunted the city's residents for nearly two centuries, and that it is simply "too old, too white, and too French."
Councilwoman Aria Pritchett, who spearheaded the campaign to remove the statue, declared at a press conference, "Enough is enough! Lady Liberty has been standing there in the New York Harbor, mocking us with her false promises of freedom and welcoming immigrants. It's time for a real change, a change that starts with the removal of this capitalist monstrosity!"
The decision has sparked both outrage and confusion, with many questioning the council's priorities. One disgruntled resident quipped, "So, let me get this straight. They want to get rid of a statue that symbolizes freedom because it's apparently oppressive. What's next, banning hot dogs at Coney Island because they're too phallic?"
The mayor defended the decision, stating, "We've taken so many bold steps to create a safer space for everyone. Removing the Statue of Liberty is the final solution that will permanently rid our city from the scourge of capitalism."
Regarding the void left by the Statue of Liberty, the council plans to install a new monument symbolizing their commitment to equality and social justice, ideally paying homage to the Native American tribes who once inhabited the land. Inside sources have also revealed that a new name for New York City is being discussed by the council in an attempt to decolonize the region.