top of page
Writer's pictureBrowning K.

Nicotine and Coffee Regulations Sparked Second American Civil War

Updated: Jan 24

July 4, 2176 - Recent studies from a group of university students has found that the Second American Civil War was not actually instigated by an the assassination of a prominent political figure, as recorded in many history books, but rather was sparked earlier when laws banning all coffee and all nicotine products began to take effect.



It previously thought that the Second American Civil War was sparked by economic and political turmoil, which is in part true. However its origins have now has been traced further back to the chain reaction caused by the disintegration of working class of America.


The law, which make it a felony to be in possession of any more than 2mg nicotine or 20mg caffeine, (punishable by up to 10 years in prison) was said to have been put in place to counter the carbon emissions caused by producing coffee while simultaneously reducing the negative effect of nicotine in society. It is important to note however, that at the time of the Second American Civil War, the sentence for smuggling 20 kilos of fentanyl across the Mexico/Texas border was a guaranteed life sentence of free healthcare in America.


Following the laws banning all nicotine and coffee, society immediately began to crumble. Truckers refused to deliver loads, farmers refused to plant crops, manufacturing facilities shut down completely, and with them, the entire American economy. Food, energy, and supply shortages immediately caused massive riots across America. The riots eventually leading to what we now call the Second American Civil War.


It was also discovered that the Resistance continued to have access to nicotine and coffee products throughout the entirety of the war, with massive smuggling channels importing the illegal items from Russia and Mexico. While previously blamed on very successful propaganda and disinformation campaigns, it is now thought that the reason for the Resistance's massive recruitment numbers are largely in part to the offer of free Zyn pouches and coffee for all soldiers. Also this campain seemed to play a very important part in boosting the stamina and morale of the soilders.

59 views
bottom of page